Poverty, dysfunctional family situations
and poor self-image push vulnerable Israeli teenage girls to make devastating
mistakes that are sometimes irreversible.
Below are a few of the common methods that are used to trick young
girls.
* “Help! He Stole My
Purse!”
How it works: A man runs off with a
girl’s purse. At that moment, a nice gentleman appears on the scene and
chases after the thief only to return empty-handed and apologetic that he could
not catch the culprit. He then offers the girl use of his cell phone,
money for transportation or even a ride home. The girl, overcome with
gratitude, for his help, lowers her guard and gets in his car. What
she does not realize is that the two men—thief and “gentleman”—are in
cahoots.
Our advice: This situation can be a “modus
operandi” for older, abusive men to take advantage of young girls. If
your purse is lost or stolen, don’t ask a man for assistance. Rather, to
avoid falling into the trap, approach women only for help.
* “Can You Help Me for a Moment?”
How it works: A man asks a girl to do him
a favor by holding his wallet or cell phone while he goes away for a
moment. Rather than leave his valuables unattended, she waits for him to
return and, when he does—usually with a gift for the girl—he starts a
conversation with her.
One of the first signs of abuse is
control. Leaving a wallet or a phone with someone might seem innocent;
however, it is an often-used control tactic to ensure that the girl doesn’t
leave.
Our advice: Do not comply with any request
from a man—no matter how innocent it seems—that ties you to his return.
Let him seek help elsewhere.
* “I Feel Dizzy”
How it works: We’ve heard this story
countless times: A girl who has been drinking suddenly and inexplicably
begins to feel drowsy. Within moments, a seemingly good Samaritan is at
her side offering to give her a ride home or take her to a doctor. In
reality, however, he has no such intention—he is a predator who had
surreptitiously spiked her drink with a date-rape drug and now intends to drive
her to someplace where he can take advantage of her.
Our advice: If you feel groggy, call the police or
ask a woman for assistance. Never ask a man for help.
* “I Can’t Stop Thinking About You”
How it works: A vulnerable teenage girl
with low self esteem is overwhelmed when an older man begins to flatter her
with attention and gifts—the hole in her life from lack of love is quickly
filled by his attention.
“We see this often with girls who are
orphans, or from divorced homes, or have an absentee father,” explains
Patty Kupfer. “Older men provide them with the male attention they are
missing. When an older man showers a vulnerable teenage girl with
compliments and gifts, it is a prescription for disaster.”
Our advice: Love your daughters.
At Learn and Live, we try to provide vulnerable, young girls with the love and
warmth they are missing. However, this is really the parents’ job
and every parent needs to know that a teenage daughter who feels unloved is an
easy target for an abusive man.
Parents, take your girls out, spend time
with them and let them know they are the most important people in the world to
you.
* “He Really Cares About
Me: He Bought Me a Phone!”
How it works: Many girls we work with
live below the poverty line and don’t have a cell phone, clothes or money
for fun like their richer peers. These girls’ economic situation pushes them to
do unwise things they wouldn’t ordinarily do. For example, “Hannah” told
a Learn and Live counselor: “I have no intention of getting involved with this
guy [an Arab who was 10 years older than her] even though I meet him every day
near my school. He simply likes to buy me whatever I want, whether it’s
food or an mp3 player. So, why shouldn't I let him?”
Hannah’s poverty and need, coupled with
her desire for gifts from this man, blinded her to his true intentions.
At Learn and Live, we provide these girls with some of what they are missing so
that if their friends go bowling, for example, they can afford to join them and
don’t need to rely on “Mr. Joe” to pay their way.
Our advice: Parents should give teenagers
extra money so they can join in activities with their peers. Otherwise,
their daughters may turn to a “Mr. Joe” for money, leaving them open to
consequences that could ruin their lives.
Learn and Live tries to reach these girls
to prevent a mistake in adolescence from becoming a lifetime tragedy.
